in the midst of my solitude

水曜日, 3月 29, 2006

BUT IT'S JUST THE PRICE I PAY
DESTINY IS CALLING ME
OPEN UP MY EAGER EYES
COZ I'M MR. BRIGHTSIDE!
-Mr. Brightside by The Killers

strangely enough, i like this song.
i find it a mix of depressing and happy.
weird.
today was pretty depressing... i had a harder time in chinese than usual. i can't even get the words "zai" and "na" to remain in my head for more than a day. they mean "this" and "that" i think...
and then i saw him today. and i found out he smokes. depressing... he might not graduate because he has so many revisions for his PASS and i'm worried about him. i can't help but worry about him, really. and i am annoyed for it.
i found out that my crush in PC has a girlfriend and i read about them... so cute... ^^
pero na-depress parin ako. nakakaasar. ahhh bakit pa kasi ako nagka-crush sa kanya!!?? parang si celz... she has a crush on kuya too... and i know how she feels... grr...
swerte nila...
i hate this.
yeah i am incredibly lonely right now. and i don't even know why...
ja~

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 水曜日, 3月 29, 2006

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火曜日, 3月 28, 2006

Sugod mga kapatid! tayo ay magsama-sama
Iwagayway na ang bandera
RAKENROLL HANGGANG UMAGA!

SORRY, had to put that. ^^

ja!

Kanae wrote alone 火曜日, 3月 28, 2006

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If Gaara was real, what would he be doing now?

i want to answer that question. but i don't know the answer to it.
i got a few two answers from my friends:
Joan: making out with you
Celine: Joan's except i think it would be more than that! nyakokoko!
weird.
i wish.
hahaha... i have a crush on Gaara. yey!
ohkay, i am currently messaging an unknown cosplayer. Ace from One Piece! they're my favorite group so far... they are so funny and i love them to pieces. He seems nice. he has a funny ym too. majik_kamote. wow. ._.
and he knows Yui! so i had to say i don't know him... -_-* buti nalang pinalit ko na yung avie ko. kundi... nakkuuu....
not much is interesting nowadays...
i like Gaara
i like CG
Oh! Tim has invited me to Boracay with him, Poch, Mark Sato, Chris, Jess Ryon and everyone else... i so want to go! but i don't think i'll be allowed eh... bad trip, sobra.
it was luke's birthday today.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUKE!! ^^
diego galan a.k.a. sinackular is joining IB next year.
see ya in hell, dude. hahahaha!
im making two more stories.
one has a sad ending and the other a normal ending. oh well.
and abz and hyoj are fighting again. i will kill hyoj one day for ever hurting her >.<
i think i'll change the blog lay out. i want a new one eh.
i think i'll join the rayearth group put up by gaaradic. as fuu... i mean, it is pretty easy. thing is, i've got two other commitments to two other groups: get backers and curious play. sayang. but i want to.
kailan kaya O'zine, ano?
i want to go to Ongaku!! it is so annoying... super saya panaman nun siguro. and i want to wear my mana costume again!
and then Toycon. i want to go to that one, definitely. open category plus group skit. its a two-day thing. i so want to go! haha... i'll go with sofia and mykhos again.
they're sleeping over on friday!
i have to do a 1000-word essay by friday!
wait-- 2 1000-word essays!
and then math homework!
and then testimonial dinner speech!
ahh i am so gonna die!! >.<
hmmm....
night guys

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 火曜日, 3月 28, 2006

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Kanae wrote alone 火曜日, 3月 28, 2006

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日曜日, 3月 26, 2006

Boring Reality of Life

just got back from batangas and finished checking the forum boards. interesting...
haha. super boring today. i didn't want to leave the beach coz i have to return to manila and to reality. i hate it.
my birthday is in... 5 days! i can't wait.... grad dinner then sleepover! Sofia, Marie and maybe Meilin are sleeping over. that will be fun... maybe i can ask mom if mykhos can join in... i hope he can. we need a meeting of the dir en grey/malice mizer groups. but i already asked my dad if i can just have costumes for my birthday. yun lang naman gusto ko eh. pera pang-cosplay at panggawa ng costume. yun lang...
i have to start on my homework and grad speech. sucks!! i have to do the 1000-word essayS pa. shibal. im soo tamad!
he. ill get back to work now.
ja ne~

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 日曜日, 3月 26, 2006

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土曜日, 3月 25, 2006

currently im in Batangas doing this on my dad's computer. we've got a bunch of drunks nearby and it is killing me to be near them. Please! i want to live to see tomorrow!
im having difficulty accessing my ym. hmm... strange. this never happens. hmm...
i had a pretty boring day today. >.<>
i wish it was summer break already...
i also signed up for the Otogi Zoshi group for next year. ill be going as Manzairaku. fun! but that will be after the Dir en grey cosplay. yun ang prioridad namin ngayon. Naks lalim ng tagalog ko ngayon ah.
A Pinoycosplay member, Batella, has a genius idea and that is for a yearly cosplay festival to bring all filipino cosplayers together. Wonderful idea! i was actually thinking of it myself but i had no idea how to get around it. so maybe i will team up with Batella for this one. i have already offered my help to him and he says when things start moving, he will contact me.
this is good for me for two reasons:
1) service to the cosplay community
2) CAS hours
I can convince Mr. Calado to let my hours serving the cosplay community serve as CAS, especially on this one for the festival. Hey, Creativity, Action and Service, right? i hope it pushes through... it sounds like a lot of fun. even if there was no CAS hours included, i would help out. i really want it to push through, and im sure he does too.
haha if it does, i'll be more hesitant to leave the country. just to attend this thing... haha ^^i might come back to the philippines just to attend it. if i have the money, that is...
oh goodie! it looks like they've shut off the damn karaoke. yes! peace!
oh well...
my ym isn't connecting and this is annoying me to pieces.
oh well...
night everyone

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 土曜日, 3月 25, 2006

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I want to cry because of Fushigi Yuugi AGAIN. i thought i was over this! Stupid TamahomeXMiakaXYui triangle! Rrrr... stupid animax rewinding the anime! this is very very annoying. FY is one of the only animes that could ever make me cry.
Fushigi Yuugi
Gankutsuou
Naruto
that's about it. sad, huh? oh well.
this week was pretty boring. im hosting tomorrow then off to batangas! can't wait.
my brother's vacation has started. grr.
im sleepy.
night

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 土曜日, 3月 25, 2006

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水曜日, 3月 22, 2006

ahh my computer is going back to normal ^^
i had a relatively good day today...
so him... talked to him... slapped him at the back....
yess, very good. we're back to normal now, i guess.
i am having a tough time with my history homework. really tough.
nothing particularly interesting has been happening, except that now our classroom is on the fifth floor of the SFC and we have to walk up there every single day... painful, really. internet sucks, chairs suck... everything sucks. but hey, got to deal with it, huh?
i met two other cosplayers over ym: Kate Balingit or Kate-san and kuya Arjay Navarro or Blazing Byakuugan. He cosplays Neji and he's really good at it too! ^^ very good cosplays.
i want to cosplay again!
there's a cosplay gathering in a bar in Annapolis, Greenhills. I so want to go! It looks like fun... everyone will be in JRock or JPops... sobrang saya siguro. Sana payagan ako! it's on April 26, 5pm to 2pm. Maybe if it's a Saturday, i can go with Sofia and Mykhos? Hmm... sana!
and we have confirmed our Die. Ken will be Die!! yey!! now we just need a Kaoru cosplayer. just one more!! ONE MORE!!
our cosplays our coming along pretty okay. we just really need that Kaoru cosplayer!!
im glad a lot of people from Pinoy Cosplay are supporting us... sana others will also ^^
im going out now... ja ne~

ja!
Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 水曜日, 3月 22, 2006

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日曜日, 3月 19, 2006

ah... first and foremost,
Happy Birthday, Mana-sama. May the Lord shower you with more success and happiness. and may you find a wife too. ^^
Yey Mana-sama!!
i am currently writing a reply to a very long thread started by marikit of FC. explaining the thing from the newbie's perspective. and i'm getting a headache writing about it too. its the whole cosplay mentality thing. it's so complicated... i thought cosplay was just about fun but now apparently its a very complicated process and hobby. nakakaasar.
okay it got erased. heh, i'll do it some other time.
anyway, our Dir en grey is final!! it will be set for late this year or early next year. Cage performance, line-up almost finished.
Kyo= Mykhos (deacon)
Toshiya= me (gothloli06)
Die= tentative Ken
Kaoru= none yet
Shinya= Sofia (kunebitt)
Sofia will start learning drums ASAP for the Cage performance. I'll be learning bass ASAP. starting tomorrow, with Mark Gimotea and probably Vincent Cabusao. two bassists will teach me. Mark is only until April 7, so that sucks. i have to learn that bass solo!!
the Malice Mizer group will start practicing as soon as all members are complete. so far we have Mana, Gackt, Yu~ki and possibly Kami.
Mana= me (gothloli06)
Gackt= Sofia (kunebitt)
Yu~ki= Mykhos (deacon)
Kozi= none yet
Kami= tentatively Marie
we will perform Bois de Merveilles and dedicate it to Kami. RIP...
I still can't get last night out of my head... ahahaha... it was so much fun...
can't wait for the next con, really! ^^

Kanae wrote alone 日曜日, 3月 19, 2006

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土曜日, 3月 18, 2006

mood: happy
music: none (unless you call Mr.Bean at the background music >.<)
Before we start, Pat=Patrisha=Sofia
I arrived from the PUP Pinoy A*Ko convention about two hours ago... it was a lot of fun. I went with Pat Delgado (Kunebitt) and Mykhos Robeniol (Deacon). Pat went as Kakashi Sexy no Jutsu (better known as Kakashi SNJ) and it was good... had a stressful morning though.
My driver and I got lost in Sta. Mesa (never a good thing, day or night) looking for Pat's home, then we had to get Mykhos from MSJ, then we got lost looking for PUP. Wonderful! But it was good once we actually got there. There were 115 Cosplayers all in all, and most were really good! I had a lot of fun... watching the cosplayers walk around then ramp up on stage made me really want to join them, though. It really sucks. I didn't cosplay because:
1) No money
2) No time
3) wala ako i-cocosplay na character.
It was originally an animated character contest only and then when I got there Kuya Gibs from FilCosplay informed me (whaddya know, he recognized me from Mana! No one else did) that the anime category had become an open category, JRock included!! NOooooO! I felt like dying. I was so annoyed!! Mykhos and I would have cosplayed had we known JRock was allowed... He would have gone as Kyo (though I don't know how O.o go figure, Myk...) from Dir en grey, and I would have gone as Mana-sama (Au Revoir Mana) from of course, Malice Mizer.
It's Mana's birthday tomorrow, by the way. I think I'll go visit his site later. Yey Mana-sama!
I saw the kid from Tomasino too. Really cute guy... and i have his picture! *evil laugh* now i just have to upload it to my computer and show Chynna and Kim on Monday and I will be a very happy bunny.
I'm not psycho (Pat will beg to differ, i just know it), and neither am i a bunny-lover. i love cats. So that will make me a very happy kitty?
I put bunny because i was reading this girl named Rinoa's blog and she has a section for her bunny and his thoughts. So i got the little bunny thing. She's from FilCosplay.
anyway...
i wasn't able to meet meilin xiaomei though. but i do know how she looks like now. i really want to go JRock! I have my design and all... i just have to make it or get it made. i have no idea how to sew (i nearly failed home economics, one of the give-away subjects [i mean, HOW do you fail H.E.?! It's like failing P.E.!!] because of sewing. yes, i was THAT bad. I have to find time to learn how to sew and it looks like that isn't going to happen for a while), so i will have to rely on a seamstress. BUT i will oversee the process (she hates me for it). haha.
Mykhos and I have spoken about the JRock thing and we ran over it with Pat. He wants to be Kyo of Dir en grey, I want to be Toshiya. Pat wants to be Shinya or anyone among them. There are five members:
Kyo,
Toshiya,
Shinya,
Die,
Kaoru.
We are three:
Mykhos,
me,
Patrisha.
So what are we going to do?
Kyo= Mykhos
Toshiya= me
Shinya= Pat
and for Kaoru and Die, it is called the miracle of FilCosplay.tk. I am sure there are Dir en grey fans out there (meilin xiaomei, maybe the kid i like and his friends... yeah)
i know his name!! but i'm not posting it here coz i'm scared someone from FilCosplay who knows him will see it!! *evil laugh* i'm nuts today. i'm sure you guys can see that.
Our Malice Mizer group's FINALLY coming along. Mykhos has agreed to be Yu~ki and I'll help him with his costume and we'll get Marie to be Kami. They look alike. so there... basically, a good day... though i got up late and got lost in Sta. Mesa... but it was good.
Night, all!

love,
Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 土曜日, 3月 18, 2006

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木曜日, 3月 16, 2006

I took the Personality Disorder test again.
Check it out.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	Very High
Schizoid Disorder:	High
Schizotypal Disorder:	Very High
Antisocial Disorder:	Moderate
Borderline Disorder:	Moderate
Histrionic Disorder:	Moderate
Narcissistic Disorder:	Low
Avoidant Disorder:	High
Dependent Disorder:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

Kanae wrote alone 木曜日, 3月 16, 2006

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Dante's Inferno Test.
Check it out

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's" Divine Comedy Inferno Test

Kanae wrote alone 木曜日, 3月 16, 2006

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Don't bug me.
i'm not in a very good mood; right now i'm pretty depressed.
today was the last day of the fourth year exams, and their last days as well.
i'll miss them. i mean, i did practically grow up with some of them. the rest are... they're there... but to not see them everyday kinda saddens me. i mean, after they're gone, the school will be so... orderly.
no more noise
no more chaos
no more annoying people
no more fourth year.
i bet Calado's happy they're going. haha no one to stress him or make fun of him or cause him trouble. but you know what? i bet he'll miss them. he'll miss all of them.
haha...
i want to post the names of all my batchmates but that will take up too much time. so i'll just put those i'll miss the most. some, for the reason that i love watching them screw around and get in trouble then get up again, and others because they are my friends... and some... well...i'll just miss them. ^^

Eula
Joan
Celine
Abigail
Asuka
Poch
Chris
Sang-Hun
Ji Yong
Sun Joo
Joo Yon
Cyril
Hazel
Tim
Alexis G
Alexis C
Mark G
Mark S
Jessica
Diego
Francis
Marlon
everyone...

graduation's supposed to be a happy event but... for us IB, it's just sad. you watch them go and you get left behind.
i hate getting left behind. it's happened too many times.
*sigh*
oh well.
i want a new phone. and an iPod video. and money for cosplay stuff. and a stereo. and a new laptop. and a new book. i want so much stuff...
i have to design my outfit na for the original jrock style group. that's a bit difficult, i think. hmm... and then my budget...
i have to put my skills to the test on this one! great. meeting in the PUP grounds on saturday so that means I HAVE to go. yesss... hey, maybe the cute kid's there. hope so.
i haven't seen much of Poch OR Chris lately. strange.
got to find a con that will allow JRock! how sad. well...
na-addict na ako sa cosplay! ^^ that's a good thing...
i HAVE to contact kunebitt!! sucks... she's over at Marie's so... grr.
okay, now i feel a bit better. i hope to see my batchmates soon.
i hope to talk to them soon.
bye...

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 木曜日, 3月 16, 2006

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水曜日, 3月 15, 2006

pretty boring day today.
we had the mandatory drug test and i haven't given my urine sample yet. they want me to piss in a cup while they wait outside with the door half-open. hell no! i can't piss in a cup especially with a woman standing right there!! so i haven't given it yet. they might forget about it. great!
i'm chatting with mitzie from writing class... haven't heard from her in a while! haven't heard from Santi or Pax either... sad. at least there is ym! i have her and isai on... i wonder...
haha...
how boring.
tomorrow is the last day of tests for my batch! konti nalang guys! kaya nyo yan!
i'll miss all of them... i really will. even if i was never really part of anything, i will miss watching them screw up and get back up... they're really great people. they tend to procrastinate, but when it really matters, they'll do it (like one week before the due date or the day before -_-*)... yeah i'll really miss them. hey, i grew up with them. practically my family...
i'm planning on joining more cosplay groups! i've joined curious play, planning get backers, thinking of original jrock style... and of course malice mizer! haha... addik sa cosplay! just like the rest of Filcosplay ^^
i met Diego Galan today. seems like an interesting guy... he's been around Filcosplay a lot. hmmm... wonder...
had a killer, evil math long test today. killer.
haha lot's of thinking today.

see ya
Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 水曜日, 3月 15, 2006

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火曜日, 3月 14, 2006

"Parked car
This night sky
Makes city lights shine like diamonds
our song plays on the radio..."
-First of Summer by Urbandub

For some reason, it seems like a very good song for me right now...
i had a good afternoon, the best in a long time, truly.
I heard today from my friend Tim that my crush likes me... and this guy i've liked for about two years already. it's just that i hid it from everyone (including myself) because i didn't want to get hurt waiting for someone who wouldn't like me back.
haha...
it turns out he does. he's liked me since i liked him. how amazing...
and so i am so happy right now.
it's one of those crushes that you try to hide but will keep coming back. for two years.
and it came back doubly strong.
i remember thinking during our JS Prom that the only time i ever felt this way was with Fumi and it took me a full year andtwo months to get over him. that hurt a lot. but it was really strange... and it scared me that i could feel that way again. i tried to numb myself to those feelings then but i guess it didn't work -_-*
that annoys me.
anyway, off the depressing, senti thoughts. i am happy!!! thing is i'll explode because i have to keep this in. rrrrrrr....
but ah! it's just been really nice. it's worth the wait, i would suppose.
the only thing is... he's graduating this april 7!! that's less than a month!! he probably already knows i like him and i don't really care. but... still! i guess good things do happen. you just have to work and wait ^^
i wonder if something will come out of this. i can't help but hope something does, but at the same time i'm scared. strange, isn't it? i've always been afraid of these things... anything with regards to emotions, i'm scared. strange...
but oh well!
i'm happy anyway.

Kanae wrote alone 火曜日, 3月 14, 2006

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today i am in class with Luke and the rest of the IB and so using Lukee's computer. hahaha.
we just finished watching the video that my classmate, Chynna, made. It's an AMV-ish thing... only using Final Fantasy X. The song is "Move Along" by All American Rejects. Her usernme is aquamarine37. Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTzU3BwmLts&search=final%20fantasy%20move%20along
it's very good. and it's her first one ever! very impressive...
another AMV i like is a Naruto one using the song "Doomsday" by Gackt. It is about Haku and Zabuza's twisted(?) relationship. it makes me sad whenever i watch it, but i like it anyway. the song makes me sad a lot too.
It's not much of a good week yet... this weekend is the PUP Pinoy A*ko Convention! I'm excited for it... Patrisha (Sofia) is cosplaying Naruto Kakashi SNJ as part of their SNJ group.
I'm officially a member of filcosplay.tk. Any other pinoy cosplayers out there, join up! It's fun. ^^
Lots of new people who are maybe like me...
Can't wait for the next cosplay con!
And in the meantime, i'll die in Chemistry class. -_-*

dying of complete boredom,
Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 火曜日, 3月 14, 2006

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日曜日, 3月 12, 2006

such a boring day.
my brother is so annoying. we're using my father's computer, and he's acting like it's his. whatever.
i had a good time with my friends last night, just sitting on the pavement and having a kantahan session. three guitars and one singer and an iPod. haha.
Narda.
i'm getting vincent to teach me bass and the bass solo of Cage so i can cosplay Toshiya next year. yes, Toshiya of Dir en grey. i have yet to launch the idea of the cosplay to my friends. hmmm... but i got the first two members up.
i'm having trouble with my Malice Mizer cosplay group. hmm... performance is tentatively november. Bois de Merveilles play. got Gackt, Mana-sama and possibly Kami. i need Kozi and Yu-ki!
i just found out a filcosplay member goes to my school. what a coincidence. i wonder if there are any others.
i'm cosplaying Chiriko from Fushigi Yuugi in the Animax convention this April. I have joined a group, and so I really will perfect this to the extent that i can. I have to get the fabric, the colors, the shoes and the wig (or i dye my hair red-- won't sit too well with my school, i'm sure -_-*) in Divisoria. hmmm...
I want to cosplay as Feitan. Hey, I'm almost his height (5'1) anyway. i'm chiriko's height, so that wasn't a problem. and i need money. grr.
i have a boring week ahead of me. wish me luck. haha.

Kanae wrote alone 日曜日, 3月 12, 2006

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木曜日, 3月 09, 2006

it has been such a long time since i have updated this blog...
maybe it's because my computer crashed and i have been feeding off my classmates' computers. this is so annoying. i'm actually using Kim's computer... before CAS.
i had prom last monday. it was fun, surprisingly. i had a good time because of the company i had: joan, celine, eula, cyril, marvin, rv, karl, ivan... bust most of the time i was with JP and chris. i had my picture taken with my crush... the "official" prom pictures. so... techinically, i had a date? hahaa! i asked him to be my date for next year also. happy!
it was bittersweet, though. i had a good time, but as everyone was dancing, i couldn't help but feel a bit... sad. everyone's leaving. the Koreans had their final toast; most of them are gone at the end of the year. if it was hard for me, imagine what it was like for them! like Kim Ji Yong and Kim Yun Jin. they can't be together because they're parting at the end of this year. how sad...
but it was a lot of fun.
everything else... BORING!
haha

Kanae wrote alone 木曜日, 3月 09, 2006

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