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火曜日, 10月 31, 2006

ah yes, halloween. this is my time of the year...
oh, i bought Chicosci's new album. i love them.
i love their dedication. soo beautiful... lol
"welcome to the chicosci vampire social club."
yes sir. i am honored.
Miguel Chavez is hot. LOL
good Lord, me and my crushes.
they all look like vampires.
but of course, i still love my little emo boy. XD yeah, that will be my nickname for him. my little emo boy XD khallaene. <3
yeah, i think of that when i see him.
there is something wrong with me.
i had a bad day today, but thinking about him makes it better. seeing him today made it better. i smile more often now, and ate Anje says my aura has changed... masopen na raw ako. hey, guess im finally learning to trust again, ne? my bonds are slipping now.
hehe, love, dont worry about the H&K... di lang kasi ako sanay sa lambingan... ^^ pero salamat...
love you~ :x


===


okay am now comforting kitsune... by comforting her, i realize that im also coming to terms with my own past, and its a healing process for both of us i guess. its just that im already down that road, i still have to help her. i dont want her to go through the pain i went through while i waited in the dark for someone to save my sad, pathetic soul.
i want to help save her... but sadly, i cant. i can only wait for someone to.
whoever you are, hurry up and save my sister.


thanks love, for saving me.


===
HAPPY HALLOWEEN.
dont let the witches haunt you... harhar.

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 火曜日, 10月 31, 2006

* * *

月曜日, 10月 30, 2006

i am seriously addicted to Lu:na by Gackt.

dare ga fusagareta kono hitomi no oku ni fureru no darou
yureru kagerou no naka de mitsumeteita tsuki ga warau

mimimoto de sasayakihajimeru rekuiemu no yuuwaku o

kizutsukeru koto de shika osaerarenai mama de

itami o yami ni sarawareta boku wa
kaeru koto nado deki wa shinai kara...

chigireta bara o mune ni daite

shinku no umi ni ochiteyuku
kasanariau karada no ue de
shinu made odoritsuzukeru

itami o yami ni sarawareta boku wa

kaeru koto nado deki wa shinai kara...

mogaki kurushimu emono no you ni

ishiki wa ubarareru mama ni
kairaku ni oborete kieteyuku
tsumetai kono ude no naka de

chigireta bara o mune ni daite
shinku no umi ni ochiteyuku
kasanariau karada no ue de
shinu made odoritsuzukeru

English:

I wonder who's touching the depths of my closed eyes
The moon that I gazed at inside of the wavering heat laughed

Only the seduction of the requiem that started being whispered into my ear
Curbed me from wounding others


My pain is taken away by the darkness
Because I can't return...


Embracing the torn rose to my chest
As I fall into the crimson sea
on top of the piled bodies
we dance till death do us part


My pain is taken away by the darkness
Because I can't return...


Like struggling, suffering prey
My consciousness is taken from me
I drown and disappear in pleasure
Cold, inside of these arms


embracing the torn rose to my chest
As I fall into the crimson sea
on top of the piled corpses
we dance till death do us part

Kanae wrote alone 月曜日, 10月 30, 2006

* * *

土曜日, 10月 28, 2006

i just came from the CK/WTF EBs... i had fun lol
saw kuya ly; another "bonding moment" in the book for us. lol
well... saw LanceEmo; i made a point to keep Khallaene away from him. and kuya Lyron made a point of keeping him away from me. thank you, kuya Ly!!
parang kuya ko na talaga si kuya ly... and im happy with that. ^_^
apparently he's getting in the way of Ryiki_Suiko and Tessa? omae ga yurusenai dayo!!! >_<
but good thing was I got to spend the day with Khal... and ill see him tomorrow! i missed him... and im smiling like an idiot again. it was really nice seeing him again. panay PDA, dude. ahahaha, now i know what Celz feels with Anda. XD
for some reason i had a HUGEA urge to hug him. which i kinda did. my main problem, i think, is tht im not as expressive as i should be... i will try to work on that. XD
so yeah...
today was good.
i love you khallaene!! XD <3


Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 土曜日, 10月 28, 2006

* * *

Paradise Kiss Opening Song
to no one... but i like it.

Romanji Lyrics


Gozen reiji tobidashita

Tobira wo kettobashite
Garasu no kutsu ga warete
DORESU (dress) mo yabureta


Nee akirete iru deshou?
Oikakete mo konai
Namida ga afurete mou hashirenai wa


JERASHII (jealousy) kamo...SE-TSU-NA-I...!!


"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
Party night...
I'm Breaking my heart
Ima sugu mitsukete dakishimete hoshii


HEDDORAITO (headlight) ga hikaru...
where are you Bad boy?
Ai no SUKAAFU de namida wo fuite
Nani mo mienai


Hoshikuzu wo kaki atsume
Anata ni butsuketai
Naze kamau no?
Jibun shika aisenai kuse ni...


Shitsuren kamo...MAJI nano...?!


"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
Party time...umaranai
Anata ga inai to karappo no sekai
Yume no tsuzuki ga mitai
"I miss you Bad boy"
Kirameki no naka ni tojikomenaide
Kowarete shimau wa


"Lonely in Gorgeous"
I'm Breaking my heart
Where are you Bad boy?
"Lonely in Party night"


"Lonely in Gorgeous"
I'm Breaking my heart
I miss you Bad boy
"Lonely in Party time"


"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
Party night...waraenai
Nani mo iranai tada soba ni ite


"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
Party night...I'm Breaking my heart
Anata ga nokoshita kirameki no hako no naka de
Kodoku wo daite ugokenai
Nani mo iranai no tada soba ni ite
Hizamazuite watashi wo mite
Ai wo chikatte


English Translation


At twelve I run out
And kick the door
My glass shoe breaks
And my dress has ripped


You're disgusted, aren't you?
You don't even come after me
My tears overflow and I can't run anymore


This might be jealousy...it's sad...!!


"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
Party night...
I'm Breaking my heart
I want you to find me right now and hold me tight


The headlights shine...
where are you Bad boy?
Wipe away my tears with the scarf of love
I can't see anything


I want to gather stardust
And throw it at you
Why do you even bother?
You only love yourself...
This might be a lost love... are you serious...?!


"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
Party time...I can't bury it
When you aren't here the world is empty
I want to see the next part of my dream
"I miss you Bad boy"
Don't lock me up inside excitement
I'll break


"Lonely in Gorgeous"
I'm Breaking my heart
Where are you Bad boy?
"Lonely in Party night"


"Lonely in Gorgeous"
I'm Breaking my heart
I miss you Bad boy
"Lonely in Party time"


"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
Party night...I can't smile
I don't need anything just be by my side


"Lonely in Gorgeous" Yeah...
Party night
I'm Breaking my heart
Inside of the box of excitement that you gave me
I hold on to my loneliness and I can't move
I don't need anything just be by my side
Kneel and look at me
And swear that you love me

Kanae wrote alone 土曜日, 10月 28, 2006

* * *

i just finished watching Parakiss on YouTube.
it's 1:30 am. I told Khal i would be sleeping at 1. sorry love ^^;;

anyway.. the last episode got me thinking. i realize that i will be walking the same path as George. next year i'll be gone... and i have to leave all my important things behind... and all the people i care for most.
i dont want to think about it, but the thoughts keep haunting me. i want to go forward, to the future i want... but at the same time, i want to remain in the present.
things change, i know... but i dont want them to. i like being where i am in now. when i think of the people ill be leaving behind, it breaks my heart.
when George left all the Paradise Kiss dresses to Yukari, i wanted to cry. i cant bear the thought of being the one leaving. i dont want to think of what ill be leaving behind.
to attain much, you must also sacrifice much.
but i think also, is it really worth it?
im thinking of remaining in the Philippines by applying to CSB for their last term. i think i can get credits for the IB.
but i guess im just postponing what will eventually happen.
eventually, we will all drift apart... like all my previous friendships.
the circle of friends that i had in the summer of sixth grade... i remember we promised we'd keep in touch... especially Ayan and I. best friends diba? ngayon, wala na. we were all so different and yet we got along so well. Me, Sims, Ayan, Check, Bianca, Tintin and Paula. we promised that we'd see each other every summer. hindi naman nangyari.
the longest friendship ive had is with Patricia. that's what im scared of losing most. Pat is my best friend... i dont want to drift apart from her because of distance. yun nangyari sa amin ni sims. -_-*
ayoko... ayokong mawala lahat to dahil umalis ako... pero kelangan, diba? yun ang nakakabwisit. ayokong iwanan dahil ayoko ring maiwan.
when George dropped off Caroline at her house, that affected me. saigo na sayonara...
i dont want to feel that pain again.

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 土曜日, 10月 28, 2006

* * *

木曜日, 10月 26, 2006

Neural Atrophy= Neural Death
Entropy= Disorder

yes, i learned new vocabulary today.
from my chemistry class. isnt that wonderful?
go figure.
anyway, ive been thinking.
Ive been reading a lot of Death Note, and i admit im a HUGE fan of the series. i think now i know why.
Light Yagami.
not HIM... but parallels i find in him.
im not an ace student; im rather borderline.
im not in college; im still in High School.
but attitude-wise... i realize i have a tendancy to be like him.
I, like him, find life to be very painfully boring. if a Death Note landed in my hands, i would probably have done the same thing. scary isnt it?
i really would try to do the same thing. if not, i would be like L.
not a child genius; that i will never be.
but i would try to catch was doing it.
oh, and i love Near.
i dont know enough about him, but i love him anyway.
*sighs* sometimes i wish all these things existed. Life is soo boring.
nothing excites me for a long time...
well, admittedly, a few things do, but things like chemistry and math? no.
ordinary life? no.
friends and lovelife? yes.
but seriously... i am soo bored with my life. oooh chiyo! *clicks window to chat with chiyo*
finally!
im still in touch with her after 2 years of not seeing her. i SHOULD see her again. i will... eventually, i guess. XD i miss her.
oh crap she left. dammit!
anyway... yeah, i miss her. she's the one who introduced me to a lot of things... that kept my life interesting and bearable.
trust me, if it weren't for her... i would be dead of boredom. i used to be so bored with life that i contemplated jumping off my roof just to keep things interesting.
*clicks window to chat with chiyo*
yup, she's back.
anyway...
i miss the old house, when i used to lie on the rooftop at sundown, watching the dusk change to the night. i would have my disk player on, listening to L'arc while watching the world go by. that kept me sane. i cant do that anymore now... its hard to get to the roof. lol
i used to have chiyo come over a lot too, and we'd talk there. lol
she used to be my neighbor, you see, that's why we became rather close. even when she moved away, we remained friends. *sigh*
life was a lot calmer back then... now its in a state of entrophy.
meaning, chaotic.
not all the time... but sometimes it is. when grades come, when the past comes, then it becomes total anarchy. like yesterday... >_> but that's over.
at least i got those thoughts out of my head... i know he's a decent guy, but seriously. at that time, masakit talaga.
pero okay lang.
i just realized that everything does happen for a reason.
if he didnt break it off, then i wouldnt have liked Christian. if i didnt liked Christian, then i may not have gone to Asilo. if i didnt go to Asilo, then i may not have met Yoru-kun. if i did not meet Yoru-kun, then it wouldnt be "us" now. amazing, isnt it?
i make clear that hindi panakit-butas si Christian. pero kung sinagot ko man si Chris, hindi ako magkakagusto sa kanya. LOL.
wonderful, im starting to think.
i proclaim this blog entry as VERBAL DIARRHEA.
yes, i am bored.
oh! and i learned a few songs from Chynna. ^_^;;

The Water Buffalo song.
"everyone's got a water buffalo
yours is fast and mine is slow
ooooooooooooh
everyone's got a baby kangaroo
yours is red and mine is blue
aaaaaaaaaaaaa"

then the Cow song. (sorry keno T_T)

"the cow in the meadow goes moo
the cow in the meadow goes moo
the farmer hits it in the head
and grinds him up
and thats how we get hamburgers."

yes i am bored.
OH! i learned something in chemistry today!

The Chaos Theory in Physics:
The world always has a tendancy to go into a disordered state

The Entropy Theory in Chemistry:
In nature, systems naturally tend towards disorder.

Entropy is created.
Entropy is chaos.
therefore, i concluded that CHAOS is CREATED. nyarhurhurhur.

i am soo... basag.
seriously.
i guess im just waay too tired to even think. lol
oh! my parents are out for the weekend... >:)
First up,
EBs in Mega!
Second,
Rain's Halloween party.
XD
yes! freedom!! XD
i love being free.

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 木曜日, 10月 26, 2006

* * *

水曜日, 10月 25, 2006

chris, in my memory stream again.
i had a talk with abigail a while ago... she saw him in KFC...
they talked for a while.
and he asked about me.
i wonder what she said. well... apparently she mentioned I had a boyfriend. "ahh parehas yung school niyo sa boyfriend ni Jo, iba lang branch."
apparently he switched topic after that.
he's still heartbroken, she says. still no girlfriend yet either. why not? i honestly thought he would have a girlfriend now.
and now... i cant help but wonder... does he still really care for me... the way i used to care for him? even if its not on the scale i cared for him... was he serious?
i admit, i used to worry about him a lot...
irresponsible...
lazy...

smokes...
makulit...
annoying...
but hey, he grew on me.
when he finally made his move, i was so happy.
i had been waiting a total of three years. thats a long time.
hey i did have a life. its just that he mattered a lot to me.
crushes during that period:
FUMI.
that's another one... to be saved for later, and to hopefully be forgotten.
anyway. i now begin to wonder...what if.
ganun ba ako kaimportante sa buhay mo? kasi nun, feeling ko hindi eh. parang binabalewala mo lang ako nun eh. yun feeling ko... at hindi mo pa sinabi sa akin yung totoong dahilan kung bakit mo ako iniwan ng ganun.
dont get me wrong; I LOVE KHALLAENE. i love him very much, as a matter of fact.
its just that ive learned when matters of the past come... they have to be addressed. and this one might as well be. *sighs*
i just wish it didnt have to happen this way.
but still... if he's heartbroken over what happened...
well, you had your chance. you let it slip away...

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 水曜日, 10月 25, 2006

* * *

火曜日, 10月 24, 2006

Ongaku was soo much fun!! the bands were good, and the cosplay was fun...
Marie won as Kami!! I am soo proud of her! It was her first cosplay... i introduced her to Lyron and Ryan... lol
Kuya Ly and I had a nice chat there... lol
Mana- gothloli
Gackt- Kunebitt
Kami- Marie
Catherine- Bou
Chi- Toshiya
Kachan- Kaoru
stig... sobra...
I gave Khal the painting... im soo glad he liked it... i worked hard for that one XD but its all worth it knowing that he likes it... -^_^- I love you!
Its been a month and a week. woah. XD thanks love~

Lu:na, Cath, Pat slept here after Onggaku. astig, we baked a refrigerator cake. yummy! kakainin ko na yung iba bukas. next time sana makasama sina miss Chi at miss Kachan. ^^ bake naman ng cookies...
i might be seeing the tomorrow; my head and body hurt so im not feeling too well... i still dont know. i have a hash pa tomorrow since its Victor's naming run. ugh... i have to rest up for that. ill see how tomorrow goes. but i dont think i should push myself too much... im already at the brink; i think i should rest.
i have been receiving pressure to return to my practitioning. NO I WILL NOT.
only one person will make me return, her and no one else. dont even try to force me. im tired enough as it is; i dont want anymore pressure.

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 火曜日, 10月 24, 2006

* * *

金曜日, 10月 20, 2006

met with mr. calado; got my apology.
raised the concerns.
whatever.
im bored today...

ONGGAKU tomorrow!! wohooO!! XD

kanae

Kanae wrote alone 金曜日, 10月 20, 2006

* * *

水曜日, 10月 18, 2006

okay. first things first.

Happy Monthsary, Love!! XD

yesterday was Khal and my first monthsary. one month of being "us." yes, that's why im really happy. i wasnt able to blog about it yesterday because i was doing something very important. you'll find out later... lol
yesterday was a very good day for me. though i nearly lost my contacts, i found them again. i don't know; i just kept smiling the whole day yesterday. i was like a little hyper bubble... not something you see everyday, i can assure you. ^^;;
it's been a whole month since we got together... its been so fast... but its been a really happy time for me (though my 300 load disappears pretty fast now lol), and im really thankful i could experience it. parang meron na akong dahilan para mabuhay ba...
it's a really light feeling to know that someone's always going to be there for you and accepts you for who you really are...
...even if you have two other counter-personalities living inside you, one of which keeps fighting.
its like a little light in an otherwise black hole, and a little warmth inside a thawed heart. yes, a little happiness in a bleak world. thanks, love.
unlike me? yeah. suuper. but hey, im happy ^^
now i just hope i can finish this by saturday.
thank you love, for everything... aishite~

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 水曜日, 10月 18, 2006

* * *

月曜日, 10月 16, 2006

im soo tired... and i have no idea why... i guess i havent been getting too much sleep, ive been thinking too much and ive been running around too much again. i always do this and i have no idea why i continue to tolerate this from myself. ill got to sleep early tonight...
To Happier Thoughts.
i went to Pat's place to get my stuff fixed (in particular my wig and makeup) last Saturday. it was really tiring though... my resistance is really down right now. anyway, while i was there Khal dropped by to say hi and i found to be really sweet of him (awwww...). he also gave me a little bear named Peachy!! i love him he's soo cute!! ^_____^ yey, Shiroi has a little brother!!
(note to self: never eat spicy things on an empty stomach... my stomach hurts T_T)
it was really sweet of him... its for our first monthsary tomorrow... <3 i felt kinda bad not being able to give him anything last Saturday... and i spent up to 12am this morning thinking of what to get him. HA! i know naaa~ but im not posting, baka mabasa niya XD pero kelangan ko pagtiyagaan toh... isang pagkakamali lang... hayy yare na! XD work work work in art class (di nanaman makikinig! XD joke)
i honestly never thought i would be this happy. senti? major. true? definitely. it's our first monthsary tomorrow... its not that i didnt think we'd last this long, but its something i never thought i would experience at 16 years old. hell i never even thought id want (much more get) a boyfriend before 18 years old. i guess some things just arent predictable, huh? XD but im really glad he found me... -^_^-
(yeah Asilo was hella good. SIMON die)
well! one month tomorrow... happy...
pagdating ng 2... happy pa rin pero sakit sa bulsa! libre na raw sabi ni kUya NeiL! ulol!!
~~
oh Onggaku on Satruday, and Mommy Lu:na, Pat and Ate Catherine are sleeping over... im trying to get mom to allow Miss Kachan and Miss Chi too... Onggaku~~
im wearing the Mana Gekka no Yasokyoku on Thursday... hopefully i dont chicken out.
i bought the contacts na eh... people say they're creepy... and they said im ala Emily the Strange today. i guess they never heard of Alice Lovely. one day...XD
oh and the most common thing i heard today was....
MILKMAID
Shut up Southville.

Anton's going to Cali on Friday; hate him for that. dammit!
oh well, masaya ako sa Pinas XP
and i still have school. DIE BAKLADO DIE DIE DIE!!!
Khal: so he didnt cancel classes? o.O
MJ: nope... he's such a bastard! >_<
Khal: uhh isnt he a bitch? o.O
MJ: oh yeah! thanks for the correction love ^_^
bitch.
harhar.
DIE
ja ne~ ^_^
Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 月曜日, 10月 16, 2006

* * *

木曜日, 10月 12, 2006

okay so i hate Mr. Calado sooo bad!

First of all, we are supposed to be part of the International Week, but guess what? noo, we have SCHOOL. how unfair. i mean, everyone else is having fun but we're stuck in the classrooms. how kind of you, Calado.
secondly, if we're not part of International Week, what is the point of us joining the Parade of Nations and the Talent Night!? we dont want to be there, we dont want to join unless we're part of International Week, which we're not!
thirdly, kagaling naman ng timing mo! if you're going to say we're part of the Parade, do tell us at least 2weeks before so we can get ready with costume planning! and then the bulletin boards are annoying. and then tell us about the talent night stuff (song and video?! do you know how hard that is!?) at least 1week before the practice, not 3 days! and if we're finale, tell us at least 2 weeks so we can do something nice.
i mean, its kinda unfair that we have added workload for something we're not even part of. medyo... kapal nun ah. we have bulletin boards, parade, costumes, schoolwork and then practice pa!? my God, masakit yan ano! bait mo talaga.
tapos dahilan mo yung late start?! HELLO! ikaw nga nag-move ng pasok namin tas kami pa madadamay!? sobra na yan.
i hate you soo bad Calado.

so anyway
my brother's transferring to Brent because of Calado.haha. i wish i moved.
>_<

okay so the week has been relatively bleh, but im alright. just got my costume made from a neighborhood seamstress, so im checking her out. if she's good, then maybe ill get my Jester and stuff there nalang. ^_^
so yeah.
ja

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 木曜日, 10月 12, 2006

* * *

日曜日, 10月 08, 2006

i believe in God but i dont believe in the Church.

sorry, flame me but i dont care. its my belief.
hey why dont I? well mainly because my brother and i are condemned by the catholic church for the sins of my parents. yey. so the offspring of a failed marriage is equal to condemnation? oh yeah, thanks a lot! and guess what? my family has a lot of Opus Dei in us. so yey, im condemned by my family too! party! NOT.
did you know that if you come from an imperfect family, you cant get into certain schools here int eh Philippines?? they dont want to "contaminate" the clean innocent ones.
that's the explanation they gave to my mom when she wanted to enroll me in Woodrose.
so yeah, i understand that marriage is an act solemnized in the eyes of God and no man or woman has the right to break it blah blah blah but GET REAL. we're not living in the 8thcentury! so many circumstances have changed. you're saying that even if our husbands treat us like dogs, if they physically and emotionally abuse us, if they try to kill us we STILL have to stay there!? i dont think so! God wants us to be happy. God wants us to LIVE SANELY. God wants equal opportunity, i believe. women were not created for the sole reason of being Men's slave or sex partners. we are human. men are human. and we all make mistakes.
how would priests know about marriage when they've never even BEEN married? no they wont know. you dont know the difficulties of sustaining a marriage when you have a job and kids. you dont know how it is like to argue with your spouse. you dont know how its like to have to deal with your spouse's mistakes.
i do understand that being a priest is like being married to God. but its still very different. God isnt human, God is perfect. God doesnt make mistakes. God doesnt piss you off.
(hey sad but true your spouse will piss you off somewhere along the line.)
so you cant actually say that its the same thing because its NOT. being married to God is different from being married to another imperfect human being.
im not saying i support divorce; rather, i hate it. it tears apart a family, it ruins the children. it leaves scars for the rest of your life. but what im saying is that sometimes... it has to be done for your sake and the sake of your children. just like breaking a relationship for the welfare of yourself is needed when you are abused. my parents broke up because they cared for myself and my brother. yes you need a reason a to have a divorce. but im pretty sure that divorce is a last option for couples. why would you marry in the first place if your going to divorce anyway!?
another thing. how is family planning evil?
how is stopping the country from self-destruction because of over-population evil? so youre condemning Singapore and China, i guess. they're firm believers of family planning, although Singapore went a weee bit too far. now they lack babies. anyway, putting that aside. the reason why we need family planning is because hello, our country is dying of poverty. how can children live if they dont have enough money for food? they cant! are you going to pay for their food, their shelter, their needs? i dont think so! its for the benefit of their family. now why again do you not like it?oh right, because marriage is for reproduction. yes i do know that people have sex after their marriage and end up having kids. marriage is not only for reproduction, you know. people know that. and they have sex because some like too. thats why sometimes its good to have lessons about sex and family planning. at least then you know what a condom is for. in poverty stricken areas: condom usage=less children=less poverty. im not saying children are the cause of poverty. im saying this for the less fortunate.
take my mom's manicurist for example:
she's dirt-poor (i mean it), can barely support two children, what more four, and she's already pregnant with her fifth. and she arns Php120 for each lady she manicures. what!? and when asked why dont you practice family planning, she at first said
"what's that?"
now she says
"its against the church."
huh!? they're going to die of poverty at this rate.
i pity them really bad.
our country is being brainwashed by the church. its like they're saying that we cant think of anything else other than what the church says. hell even our politics is influenced by the church! ever heard of separation of Church and State? we're supposed to have that here, but nooo. we dont! before a politician can be successful, he has to have the endorsement of the church. and the church meddles in every single bill it can. that's why so many bills that can help the country dont get passed. ugh! its so frustrating.
oh you know what they said about the human rights bill for women? the one that says women have a right to spacing between kids? they said that its wrong and its evil.
what the heck!? how?
you know why women need that? because womens health go down when they give birth. we're sacrificing our blood and minerals per baby. we need spacing between children to recover for what we've lost. if not we can lose too much and DIE. is that what you want?
jeez all you have to say is "we dont like women" and we'll get it. tss.
we're not that stupid.
but hey, maybe they'll learn their lesson...
...after another 6million+ women are killed like in the inquisition before. at the most, more than 6m+ women were killed in one inquisition alone. they were blamed for being Witches. sad thing is, most women were probably innocent.
Spanish Inquisition
English Inquisition
German Inquisition
French Inquisition
use your brains, witches dont do rituals in daylight. they need the light of the moon and the blessing of the night to make their spells work. damay-damayan lang naman yan eh. it's like Mao Tse-Tung's torture chambers.
and you know the sad thing is, the Pope Benedict the 18th supports the inquisitions. when i found out he became Pope and is leading the Church (i watched for the announcement on CNN until 2am, when it was announced), i nearly cried. i thought
"Please... no more Inquisitions... I dont want to die."
if he ordered one, the Philippines would surely carry out their own. and i would probably perish in it.
that's why i find it sooo stupid.
I believe God.
I love God.
I know God loves me.
but I dont believe in what the Catholic Church is doing.
When the priest was giving all of this out i wanted to stand up and say
"may i provoke the right to argument or is that against the Catholic Church too?" i was so close to walking out. i wish i did.
it would wake everyone up.
all the masses blindly follow. so sad. the Church, instead of helping the country rise up, is bringing it down.
I talked to my mom about it and she asked me about religion. i said "im changing religion to Christianity."
she said
"your dad wont allow it."
i replied
"he cant do anything when im 18."
im only forced to attend mass. I love God but i hate the church. i just find it useless.
and i only get pissed off when these topics are discussed.
thing is, we're taught to argue these things in the IB. i can come up with so many arguments against it, if only i were allowed to voice it out. its soo frustrating!
only comfort is that maybe one day they'll learn.
and im changing religions when im 18.
these are my thoughts
flame me if you will.
i love GOD. i believe in God
cant say the same of the Church.

I believe in God
the Father Almighty
Creator of Heaven and Earth
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son our God
who was concieved by the power of the Holy Spirit
was borne of the Virgin Mary
he suffered under Pontius Pilate
was crucified, died and was buried
he descended into the dead
on the third day he rose again
he ascended into Heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father
he will come again to judge the living and the dead
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the communion of saints
the forgiveness of sins
the ressurection of the body
and life everlasting
Amen.

Kanae.

Kanae wrote alone 日曜日, 10月 08, 2006

* * *

土曜日, 10月 07, 2006

so today was the CK and WTF EBs. i had fun, and saw all the usual people.
Saw Mommy Lu:na and Ate Catherine there today, so that was a plus. we got to talk about the Vanitea event, and we're all going! wheee
we also got to submit the applications to the Onggaku Society, and we've got plans for the Onggaku cosplay. im going as Mana Gekka no Yasokyoku. wohoo~
im looking forward to the remaining events this year. it seems there are a bunch of good ones lined up. yes! can't wait.
i got permission from Seven to do the whole Precious Miseries group. recruit mode: ON!
i didnt see Khal today though... sad. he had a game with southridge so he was late. i had left when he got there, i guess. damn. stupid southridge... rival ng sisc.. lol
but best thing was got to talk to abigail today. im still talking to her, actually. it's been... 2hours! lol... yeah i really missed her. it's been over a month since we last spoke. glad to see her OL today. we talked about everything...
abz ingat ka lagi.

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 土曜日, 10月 07, 2006

* * *

木曜日, 10月 05, 2006

Its me, Kanae. back.
Yoru, i am so sorry... i know i hurt you too, and i didnt mean it that way... i swear i didnt. that post by Sunabi was made out of anger and irrationality; it should have been clearer. i am so sorry.
i feel really horrible about everything; knowing that it's my fault makes it worse. please forgive me.
ill explain. i heard something... it wasnt from what i read on your blog; i just visited it today, as a matter of fact. the previous posts of yours didnt disturb me, and the post before isnt directed toward your ex-girlfriend. i have respect for her. the post of Sunabi was directed toward a person we both know, and news of her disturbed me. the reason why i broke down was because i was too weak. im so scared.
yeah, im a coward and im insecure, plus im insensitive sometimes. im sorry... ill work on those. >_>
its just... im too scared of losing you. i know that if she gets in the way, ill lose. im nothing like her. granted, she was very nice to me, but right now, she's a threat to me. i dont take threats very easily. im scared of losing you to her, and that's why i had to sleep for a while. i guess sunabi didnt take it too lightly. im so sorry.
i know you're not like that, but it's just very hard for me to trust again. too many scars, too many walls, too many broken promises, all by people i was close to. it hurts. im trying to change that... i know you're not like them, and i trust you.
sunabi... she was trying to make it better, but she made it worse instead. im soo sorry.
i love you a lot. it makes me happy but at the same time it terrifies me. im scared of the end. im scared of losing it... im scared of losing you. you've honestly changed a lot in me, and really, im grateful to you for it. thank you.
i'm so sorry for hurting you. im so so sorry. i hope you forgive me.
i love you.

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 木曜日, 10月 05, 2006

* * *

[SUNABI]
okay. so i feel horrible right now. wooow guilt trip. >_<
anyway. ugh. how do i do this. im not used to this. at all.
so i read his blog entry. i am sorry. but seriously, Kinshin, that girl in that previous entry is not the girl im referring to. im referring to another girl with three letters in her username. A-Y-A.
im sorry if i blew up. i cant control my temper.
im sorry if i hurt you. i didnt mean to.
im sorry. im just saying sorry.
kanae nearly killed me last night after Yoru called. she feels horrible too. she had to control herself in school or she would have broken down there too. she couldnt even concentrate in class, not even put pen to paper because she felt so bad.
i feel sooo stupid. i really should keep my mouth shut...
okay, so i have to explain something. the reason i got so upset was because *sigh* okay, so i am protective of Kanae. very protective. she is part of me after all, or rather im part of her. when she found out what she did, she was close to tears and she wouldnt tell me why. i guess i just reacted the way i did because i felt helpless. instead of helping, im making things worse. wow what a responsible alter-ego i am. i hate myself.
im sorry. i didnt mean to hurt you. the previous entry wasnt to you. it was to AYA.
Kanae is terrified of losing you. she really is. she knows that if Aya gets in the way, she will probably lose. she's just so scared. i hate seeing her like this. that's why i was stupid enough to lose it. you ARE probably one of the best things that has happened to her. she doesnt want to lose you. i regret doing that. i really seriously do.
im scared for her. i am hesitant in letting her go into relationships because i dont want her to get hurt. you dont know how many tears she's cried over Yoru. i dont want her to cry anymore.
okay?
IM SORRY.

i just poured my heart out. >_> ugh. never again.
i hope you read this.
IM SORRY.

SUNABI

Kanae wrote alone 木曜日, 10月 05, 2006

* * *

水曜日, 10月 04, 2006

Playing: Emu~For My Dear~ , Doomsday, Tsuki no Uta,

Sunabi here.
i am not playing around and im seriously pissed.
i have been hiding for so long that it's good to be out. Finally im getting somewhere.
okay why am i out? two words:

EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN

im sure you all understand the meaning of these two words. now, lets see? who had the EB? Kanae did. again. right in the middle of her CAS time, leaving me with annoying little brats. but that's not why im pissed. ive learned something that she's been hiding from me, apparently because i would react and get pissed. congratulations Kanae, you guessed right.
NOW. i wonder if that girl reads this blog. what's her name again? oh wait, maybe i shouldnt name it. either way i dont give a shit. ive never met her, i dont care to meet her.
bitch, you mess with me i swear to the God we believe in i will make your life a living hell for as long as you continue. you are going to regret you ever even thought about trying to get him away from Kanae. she's happy now and if you're going to steal that away, you're messing with me.
its alright if you dont take me seriously; nobody really does anyway. but that's not the point.
i will make sure you do. and i am going to make your days a nightmare. what's scary is i can really do that. do not underestimate me. i also have Kunebitt on my side so try it and die.
and for you, boy, you have two choices: Lust and Love (or so i was told). CHOOSE ONE and CHOOSE FAST before we get up and leave. One choice is all you have. when she leaves she's not coming back.
she'll wait for you. she loves you. but if you betray her, you're never going to see her again. and that's Kanae. she doesnt take betrayal easily. she doesnt take pain easily. she doesnt take scars easily. she has had enough.
now why am i upset? well for one thing, Kanae has risked a hell lot to be where she is now, and i dont want that all to waste. she smiles now, and it looks good on her. i've been calmer lately, knowing that she's okay.
and then suddenly this happens? well for one thing, you're disturbing my much-needed rest. second, i want her to be happy. third, i dont want to be the one to say "I TOLD YOU SO."
so hey, make up your mind. which will you choose?
and girl,
dont even try to cross lines with Kanae. you'll end up facing ME.
bye.

SUNABI.

Kanae wrote alone 水曜日, 10月 04, 2006

* * *

火曜日, 10月 03, 2006

nohing really interesting has been happening...
only that we had a typhoon... and the philippines was badly battered by it. typhoon Milenyo or Xangazenese or something like that... Neneng just left; fortunately it didnt hit too hard or we would have been suffering again. the billboards are still down but power's back on. such destruction... now im so worried about Ace and Nix and Bercel and them...
Bercel texted a while ago. crap, the past is coming back. Either Bercel or Ayan, i dont know who was texting. this sucks!!
im in Gothic Lolita right now, and im supposed to join the pageant? only if Diego does. and im going to MAKE him do VK. but apparently he cant, so no, im not doing it.
ano gusto niyo, EGL yung muse niyo? sige ba! la nga lang akong talent. grr.
oh well...
mom really wants to meet Khal. she says im happier lately. even sims said so.
i texted sims yesterday, by the way. long time no talk, la. miss ya too.
apparently there are 12 more typhoons on its way here. yey. more school cancellations, just as long as i can still go to the EBs. i miss the cosplayers.
people asked me why i was in costume today. err no, this isnt costume las, this is Elegant Gothic Lolita. Arisa liked it! wah im touched -^_^-
hm... i miss him.
and yes, i am bored. there really is nothing to do here.
ja

kanae

Kanae wrote alone 火曜日, 10月 03, 2006

* * *

日曜日, 10月 01, 2006

i am so sleepy.
but im happy.
i saw Khal yesterday and the day before. i missed him... it was really nice spending the day with him... -^_^-
Pat's slept over, so that counts as two and a half days of seeing her. saw JC and Unggkey and Des and Arjay and Bert yesterday too... whee~
it was fun. at around 5, an hour before i had to go home, we saw all the CK people. ive finally met Jyn Kanzaki! met Roy too, and Krelian and Lance and gothic_chick and a bunch of other people through Kuya Yui. thank you kuya. XD saw Tessa and Ryiki too. Tessa is sooo sweet! i lav her. lol
kulitan kami kahapon eh! lol
oh, saw Aren too! long time no see, Aren. at wag mo akong tawagin ATE! T___T
ah Kuya Yui, i get it. lol. alam ko na yan. pero salamat. sayang talaga.
currently listening to L'arc~en~Ciel's Kuchizuke from their SMILE... i miss their albums. lol
i guess ill be listening to them more often now. yey!
urgh my iPod broke. amp!
oh and guess what? i get rashes when i walk under the sun for about 5mins. is that bad? i walked Pat to Rosemallow street (around 5, 6 blocks down) under the sun, and when i got into Chi's place, i started itching real bad. and when i got home, it got worse. what does that mean? vampire mode nanaman kasi... oh well. i kinda enjoy it anyway.
school tomorrow. piff. i dont want to go to school! no! no! NO!
i wanna see him. lol.
talked with Shirley a while ago, and that was nice. i miss her a lot.
oh and Simon came from my past to haunt me again. im going to be nice and not threaten TRO. but i have conversations saved just in case. sorry. im happy dont you dare try and spoil it.
i swear to God you will regret it...
Love, thank you for being there for me always. i love you.
Ja guys!

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 日曜日, 10月 01, 2006

* * *

the child

Name:Jo
Alias: Kanae, MJ, gothloli, Aftiel Harlenn, I, Sunabi
I'm your ordinary half-psycho good girl
Im...16? turning 17, last time I counted.
simply a little half-angel, half-demon floating around
do leave a tag, save me from myself
ja

whispers


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