in the midst of my solitude

火曜日, 3月 14, 2006

"Parked car
This night sky
Makes city lights shine like diamonds
our song plays on the radio..."
-First of Summer by Urbandub

For some reason, it seems like a very good song for me right now...
i had a good afternoon, the best in a long time, truly.
I heard today from my friend Tim that my crush likes me... and this guy i've liked for about two years already. it's just that i hid it from everyone (including myself) because i didn't want to get hurt waiting for someone who wouldn't like me back.
haha...
it turns out he does. he's liked me since i liked him. how amazing...
and so i am so happy right now.
it's one of those crushes that you try to hide but will keep coming back. for two years.
and it came back doubly strong.
i remember thinking during our JS Prom that the only time i ever felt this way was with Fumi and it took me a full year andtwo months to get over him. that hurt a lot. but it was really strange... and it scared me that i could feel that way again. i tried to numb myself to those feelings then but i guess it didn't work -_-*
that annoys me.
anyway, off the depressing, senti thoughts. i am happy!!! thing is i'll explode because i have to keep this in. rrrrrrr....
but ah! it's just been really nice. it's worth the wait, i would suppose.
the only thing is... he's graduating this april 7!! that's less than a month!! he probably already knows i like him and i don't really care. but... still! i guess good things do happen. you just have to work and wait ^^
i wonder if something will come out of this. i can't help but hope something does, but at the same time i'm scared. strange, isn't it? i've always been afraid of these things... anything with regards to emotions, i'm scared. strange...
but oh well!
i'm happy anyway.

Kanae wrote alone 火曜日, 3月 14, 2006

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