in the midst of my solitude

木曜日, 10月 05, 2006

[SUNABI]
okay. so i feel horrible right now. wooow guilt trip. >_<
anyway. ugh. how do i do this. im not used to this. at all.
so i read his blog entry. i am sorry. but seriously, Kinshin, that girl in that previous entry is not the girl im referring to. im referring to another girl with three letters in her username. A-Y-A.
im sorry if i blew up. i cant control my temper.
im sorry if i hurt you. i didnt mean to.
im sorry. im just saying sorry.
kanae nearly killed me last night after Yoru called. she feels horrible too. she had to control herself in school or she would have broken down there too. she couldnt even concentrate in class, not even put pen to paper because she felt so bad.
i feel sooo stupid. i really should keep my mouth shut...
okay, so i have to explain something. the reason i got so upset was because *sigh* okay, so i am protective of Kanae. very protective. she is part of me after all, or rather im part of her. when she found out what she did, she was close to tears and she wouldnt tell me why. i guess i just reacted the way i did because i felt helpless. instead of helping, im making things worse. wow what a responsible alter-ego i am. i hate myself.
im sorry. i didnt mean to hurt you. the previous entry wasnt to you. it was to AYA.
Kanae is terrified of losing you. she really is. she knows that if Aya gets in the way, she will probably lose. she's just so scared. i hate seeing her like this. that's why i was stupid enough to lose it. you ARE probably one of the best things that has happened to her. she doesnt want to lose you. i regret doing that. i really seriously do.
im scared for her. i am hesitant in letting her go into relationships because i dont want her to get hurt. you dont know how many tears she's cried over Yoru. i dont want her to cry anymore.
okay?
IM SORRY.
i just poured my heart out. >_> ugh. never again.
i hope you read this.
IM SORRY.

SUNABI

Kanae wrote alone 木曜日, 10月 05, 2006

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