in the midst of my solitude

木曜日, 10月 05, 2006

Its me, Kanae. back.
Yoru, i am so sorry... i know i hurt you too, and i didnt mean it that way... i swear i didnt. that post by Sunabi was made out of anger and irrationality; it should have been clearer. i am so sorry.
i feel really horrible about everything; knowing that it's my fault makes it worse. please forgive me.
ill explain. i heard something... it wasnt from what i read on your blog; i just visited it today, as a matter of fact. the previous posts of yours didnt disturb me, and the post before isnt directed toward your ex-girlfriend. i have respect for her. the post of Sunabi was directed toward a person we both know, and news of her disturbed me. the reason why i broke down was because i was too weak. im so scared.
yeah, im a coward and im insecure, plus im insensitive sometimes. im sorry... ill work on those. >_>
its just... im too scared of losing you. i know that if she gets in the way, ill lose. im nothing like her. granted, she was very nice to me, but right now, she's a threat to me. i dont take threats very easily. im scared of losing you to her, and that's why i had to sleep for a while. i guess sunabi didnt take it too lightly. im so sorry.
i know you're not like that, but it's just very hard for me to trust again. too many scars, too many walls, too many broken promises, all by people i was close to. it hurts. im trying to change that... i know you're not like them, and i trust you.
sunabi... she was trying to make it better, but she made it worse instead. im soo sorry.
i love you a lot. it makes me happy but at the same time it terrifies me. im scared of the end. im scared of losing it... im scared of losing you. you've honestly changed a lot in me, and really, im grateful to you for it. thank you.
i'm so sorry for hurting you. im so so sorry. i hope you forgive me.
i love you.

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 木曜日, 10月 05, 2006

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