in the midst of my solitude

金曜日, 12月 22, 2006

Hm... this is Kanae's blog right?
do you think i can write here once in a while? i mean, i am a part of her too...
oh well, no matter. ill write anyway! ^_^
well, a lot of things have been troubling me -.- first of all, there's the fact that i dont want to study anymore and that ive been thinking too much, way too much for my own good. i cant write good stories anymore, though i wrote one with kanae Monday about Mello and Matt. if they got together, i'd be happy! ^_^ they're cute.
well anyway... a lot of things have been bugging me... the voice in my head, the thing called a conscience, has been talking to me a lot more and it wont stop. people are asking me to be normal, but that's impossible! i cant be normal... its like asking the Pope to convert to Islam. its just not possible. Kanae wasnt born normal (she wouldnt cry) and i doubt she will ever be. they should stop asking :D
another thing is that im so highly unmotivated right now. i dont know what will make me study. i have no desire to be the best in my class; im fine with third. but, i mean, i need something to get me interested in academics again. they say im a good student with little motivation, and an excellent student when i have a goal in mind. what can make me study again?
maybe a Dollfie? those are really pretty. i want a boy dollfie.
and a trip to japan.
maybe a new computer?
maybe that will motivate me... o.o
cosplaying isnt working as motivation; its simply my hobby.
blackmailing isnt going to work either. ill try for a while then ill stop because ill stop caring.
what will make me care?
can you think of something for me?
Kanae needs help too~ im the intellectual side... the intellectual side with no motivation whatsoever. ^^
i really am like Matt when i have no motvation, but im like Mello when i do.
i go insane ^_^
help please~ just write in the tagbox if you have any ideas... thank you!
It's nice to meet you, by the way.
My name is I. i forgot my real name. but anyway, its I and they say im smart but i have the confidence and emotional stability of a twelve year old. im not that unstable! but yeah, im kinda smart. i sleep a lot though. ^_^ and i like to read.
nice to meet you all!

I

Kanae wrote alone 金曜日, 12月 22, 2006

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