in the midst of my solitude

木曜日, 1月 04, 2007

so, here we are at the start of a New Year. again.
will i change? i have no idea.
am i changing? yes.
my past is coming back to haunt me; i have a bad feeling about this.
chance encounters are becoming often, prophetic dreams disturb my sleep. thoughts murmur the words i do not want to hear.
sweet dreams become nightmares; often i find myself in waking sleep. tears flow and disappear, smiles run sweetly and later die. there is something coming again; i don't know what. i cannot anticipate what i cannot see. is this my limit?
it does not feel like death; death's atmosphere is different, and i evaded him many times already. i don't know what's going to happen.
i had a talk with ate the other day.
what if it happens. what if my dream comes true. what would i do then?
i thought about it for a while.
smile, cry, laugh, weep, dance, kill.
i really have no idea.
much as i love and dream that idea to come true, i dread it also. what would i do then? i'm disturbed. i'm torn between now and the past. kenshin himura, i feel your pain.
live for ones self?
hah.
i'd like to see you try.
there will always be a part of me that dwells in my past... and the part that continues to move on into the future.
i'm sorry; i can't be perfect.

Kanae

so let's dance behind our velvet masks in this masquerade
where truth and lies entwine
stand up and dance to the music of the sweet and honeyed lies.
princess, princess do you see?
the lies that float through the sweet music and dance through the crowd.
come with me, let us slip quietly into the night that beckons,
to the quiet moon that smiles
into the eternal night which shines silver and to the distant gates of heaven,
or come with me to eternal death, into the flames of hell.
spin around just like the world
lose track of all sense and time
when the clock strikes midnight
princess you are mine.

Kanae wrote alone 木曜日, 1月 04, 2007

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