in the midst of my solitude

火曜日, 2月 13, 2007

moving to LJ. im tamad eh.

http://kanae-harlenn.livejournal.coem

see ya.

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 火曜日, 2月 13, 2007

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日曜日, 2月 11, 2007

its over.
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Kanae.

Kanae wrote alone 日曜日, 2月 11, 2007

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土曜日, 2月 03, 2007

Yes, Chicosci concert hangover in progress.
Dying of absolute insanity and kilig-ness(?)
Why? Because Miggy Chavez, lead singer, was about two feet away from me in all his gothic-looking glory. Surrounded by multi-colored lights, he could have passed as an angel fallen from heaven, or a demon climbing up from hell. A really hot-looking demon, at that.
It took forever for their turn to come, but it paid off. Six songs, and an absolutely charming Chicosci. It was funny since we were all in chairs until the band that performed before them. Me, being as impatient as I am, paid no heed to them... I heard them on the radio once but since the guy kept screaming and acting like he was being paralyzed, I tuned out and started praying for Chicosci. It was 11, and I had to go home, dammit! And suddenly, the emcee announces who is up next, and I go straight to the front of the line and straight onto heaven...
There was a total of seven bands. I watched six, the last of whom being Chicosci. They were all I was waiting for. I would have stayed to watch Urbandub, however, time was pressing and I neaded to leave. The band were Papi *something* (I dont know them-- seniors band), Kim Flores (pride and glory of SISC), OneInCH (Christian rock band from ENY-- they were good), MYMP, Kinky Hooters, *the band I didn't like too much*, Chicosci and Urbandub.Now, me being my usual weird self, I do not remember much of the previous performances. All I remember is Kim Flores singing a Beyoncee Knowles song ("to the left, to the left..."?), the Seniors band being... mmm lets not go there, OneInCH and Michael, MYMP's Tell Me Where It Hurts, Kinky Hooters being cool and everything about Chicosci. :D and now I will talk about... Chicosci.
In a fangirly, dreamy way which so uncharacteristically not me, but I don't really care. Miggy Chavez <3
So first of all, I nearly get killed by Jessica Ryon, who is moshing next to me. I tell her, laughing, to keep the remnants of her sanity. The band comes on stage, we all scream. Miggy Chavez comes out, and it's all like a dream.
He says hello, we scream.
Jessica screams "I LOVE YOU MIGGY!!" and he replies with a sly smile and a "I love you too. haha"XDD
Their first song is from their Icarus album, Theme From Conversations With Fire.
I sing my heart out. Jessica looks at me like I'm insane for knowing the damn song.
He talks a bit, and that's where my heaven starts.
I'm standing there, with my cellphone, snapping pictures.
Me: "Miggy, you're awesome."
He smiles, goes on talking. Doubt he heard me over Jessica's "I LOVE YOU!!!"
Miggy: "Who here has our newest album?"
Me: *raises hand* "I do! I've got three of your albums, actually" X3
Miggy: *points at me* You do? Great, love you then! By the way, I love your outfit." *smiles*
Me: "Why, thank you Miggy. *smiles*
Jessica: "sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!!"

And then, as he sings Paris, he comes down from the stage, and I grab hold of his hand.
He goes around, then comes back, stepping under the railing right next to me. Me, being the idiot I am... I hug him.
OMG I JUST HUGGED MIGGY CHAVEZ!!! *screams*

yes, insane.I am proud to say that I memorised every song that they sang.

Theme from Conversations with Fire- Icarus album
the devil made me do it.- Chicosci
seven black roses- Chicosci
A Promise- Chicosci
Paris- Methods of Breathing

If I could request a song, I would ask for either Rolento (Methods of Breathing), Chicosci Vampire Social Club, Sweet Maria, Matinee, Knives or Last Look (all from Chicosci). Those are my favorites. All of the songs in their latest album are wonderful.

Miggy: "Here is a song to all the Miggy-lovers out there." *laughs hard*
me: "hell yeah, love you Miggy!!"
Luke: "JO!!"
Me: "You know we love you Miggy. You're loved. <3"

When I hugged him, shit.
*OMG IM HUGGING MIGGY CHAVEZ!!!!!*
Just touching his arm made me go insane.
Yes, I am a huge fangirl of Miggy.

Miggy: "If you have a myspace, add us up at www.myspace.com/chicoscikills."
Jessica: "They have a myspace? Ano yung address ulit??"
Me: www.myspace.com/chicoscikills. Meron rin silang friendster at yahoogroup.
Jessica: "Oh my God, insane. Obssessed ka nanaman!"
Me: "Jess, crush ko yang si Miggy 2 taon na. Nuon pa akong obssessed" *laughs*
Jessica: "tanginang fangirl!"

Me: "Hey Miggy, can I talk to you after the concert?"
Miggy: "Hm, who said that? Who wants to talk to me?"
Me: *raises hand* "I've got something to tell you."
Miggy: *smiles*

*before A Promise*
Miggy: "This goes out to all our vampires out there!"
Me: "honorably your vampire, Mr. Chavez."
Jessica: "WTF?"

Ahh good times.

Well, I do go insane in his presence. Surprisingly, I didn't feel starstruck. I dunno, I felt normal, almost. Except for the fact it's a guy I've had a crush on for two years... or more. Since the Good Charlotte concert back in Third Year. That was the first time I saw Chicosci perform. I loved them immediately. Paris.

I wasn't able to talk to him though. I gave the invitation to Rain and LA to give to the manager, though, so I hope it gets to them.I'll pm them over myspace or friendster. I put in my email address and my cell number though, just in case. Lord, pleaaase?

ZOMG. I HUGGED MIGGY CHAVEZ!!!! *dies*

I have about 7 pictures of him in my phone. All blurry, but he still looks like the gothic angel that haunts my dreams. <3

But still. Tonight was wonderful.
Thank you Chicosci and your lovely concert.
It was worth the five-hour wait.<3

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 土曜日, 2月 03, 2007

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木曜日, 2月 01, 2007

Something I came up with cuz i was bored.

A Dying Melody

Pen me a melody, sing me a song
send me to a world where i truly belong
in this garden where life is sweet
fake smiles tell me that life is bleak

A sudden wish from the depths of the heart
A pale face that hides a heart that is marred
A decieving smile, sweet eyes that lie
Irresistible charm, a soft sounding sigh

Ruby lips, pearl white teeth sink
fangs of a vampire ready to drink
blood from my neck, it flows so gently
Just like a song's ever-sweet melody

An escape from reality into trance
A game of cards played off by chance
A strange dream, a heartbeat ceased
A sudden revival, a life that is leased

A masquerade, a dance of light
Balls made under the cover of night
Smiling faces, beauty unsurpassed
The faces of those with a bloodied past

Ages eternal, a walk through life
A sad existence dependent on strife
It is your blood I want, it is blood I need
An unforgiveable sin, an evil deed

O sweet melody, what an evil turn!
Thy bittersweet words makes my heart mourn
Notes that wring my heart in despair
Come ever so often: a repeating nightmare

There is no escape, what is done is done
in this waking dream i have nowhere to run
End this eternal melody, silence the words that sound
Save me from the destruction that will abound

For I am tired of living, if this is still so
All the goods and evils, I have come to know
Give me peace; lay me down to rest
Let them know that I have passed the test

A wish for death, a wish for life given
Mortality, immortality, power-driven
heed not foolish whispers of greed
Else you be bound to sinful deeds.

Kanae wrote alone 木曜日, 2月 01, 2007

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月曜日, 1月 29, 2007

so the weekend was good.
we had a pre-sell turned meeting about Vanitea last saturday at Megamall... i arrived two hours early o_o lol. saw kuya Fart and ate Chi and ate Shinji; they were with their group for Psicom. FF13 with a Suzumiya Haruhi twist. how interesting. XD ate shinji was dancing in the middle of the foodcourt and THAT was cute...and funny. :D peace ate shinji XD
as a result, i have a new outfit! just... what do i call it? o_O its the black counterpart of my Duchess of Hearts outfit... so is it the Duchess of Dark? o_O mm... will have to think about that one.
well, we have a presell on saturday for Vanitea, and im announcing it next Monday in the Assembly. i was supposed to do it today but apparently i have to get clearance from ms Remy first. wtf? oh well.
short day, saturday. went out with dad, anton and tita lanie.fixed stuff for PSICOM, then went to bed.
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haha Sunday was Psicom. i woke up at 8, lazed around and fangirled over Chicosci on the telly for a bit before getting up for breakfast. by the time i had finished with my morning usuals, it was 10. the con started at 10. lol. i wasn't planning on being there early anyway; i knew most of my friends would be there past 12. so i left the house quarter to 11, got there around 12:20 or so, since i had to go back for my chocolate.mmm... Cadbury Royal Dark... :D
i was cosplaying Mello of Death Note yesterday, and got glomps from those that recognized me. o_O it was awkward, in a sense. i do NOT get glomped. ever. but oh well, whatever lol.
saw kuya Fart and ate Kachan a bit after.
also ate Chi when i arrived, but she was busy with her group so i didn't disturb her. then yun, hung around with kuya Fart and ate Kachan. got some awesome photos too XD
Pat, ate Cath and ate Lu:na arrived soon after,and we hung around, doing Vanitea and observation stuffs (translation: hung around). cosplay here is improving; saw a real awesome Sandrock model... that moved. XDDD cosplayer pala! XD lol
i enjoyed being in my costume, even if it was all synthetic leather. i must be a pretty short Mello. oh that sucks. Mello's seventeen, i doubt he's 5'1" 1/2. -____- next time i'll get taller platforms. at least im taller than Near. XDD waiiiiit--- who's taller, Matt or Mello? I think (and pray) its Matt. lol
loved the outfits. seriously. met(?) Bijan. Hazel. Ligaya. steeeeg. am honored. *bows*
speaking of which, i had a dream.
a very funny dream. it was one of those 10-minute ones... but it was soo weird i woke up laughing.
i dreamt i went to Prom. IB Prom. with someone who distinctly reminded me of Bijan, Ly and Yui mixed together. and of course, all hell breaks lose.
it was sooooooooooo funny. i woke up laughing ang laughing. i dont know why. i think it was the look of horror on Victor's face in my dream that got me laughing. so yeah.anyway, Psicom was good and Dad watched wit tita Lanie and anton.
Kuya JP was good... he sang really well... @_@ i like his voice.
went home, extreeemely tired, but extreeemely satisfied.
btw, all i had that day was the bar of chocolate. well, breakfast of spam and rice then chocolate then ramen for dinner, but yeah. extremely hyper at the end of the day. XD
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so im supposed to be doing my TOK homework right now, but since im reaallly lazy, im procrastinating. again. sir John has not sent me back the TOK essay with comments or suggestions so i dont know what to do with it. ill work on it toward midnight, probably, then bring a computer tomorrow for all my chem labs and stuff. oh and i have to type up that stupid math project-thing. shit. ill do the rest this weekend. and Chemistry. fuck that! i hate chem.
oh, on a lighter note, i saw Gimmo today! met his friend too. JC, i think? reminded me of Krelian, just minus the huge eyes. XD i keep remembering Krelian's eyes! yea yea he was cute. Adrian Bruce was there too. haven't seen them in a while, so i spent some time with them.
seriously, JP, my hair was NEVER blonde. or GOLD. oh good Lord. saw Jireh too. he thought JC was my bf. which was weird. seriously. lol. but its okay. hahaha. i guess im seeing them this friday? they're attending the concert too yey!
which reminds me... must... talk to miggy!! wahahah!and Gimmo's band apparenlty is going to have a recording with Urbandub!! yey!! good luck to them!! dont forget us little people XD

see ya
Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 月曜日, 1月 29, 2007

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木曜日, 1月 25, 2007

aack!! my beautiful entry got deleted! fuck that! seriously!

ugh, so anyway.

rewrite.

well, so today started like crap. the week was crap. it's almost the end though, so it's relatively okay. tomorrow i've got two hours of class and FREEDOM!!oh gawd, SATs on Saturday. fuck. seriously! >_<

i didnt study for it, so im pretty much screwed. yey.you see, it goes like this.all the colleges i applied for didn't request for SAT scores. therefore, i decided NOT to take it. and here i am all lalalalaala no studying while my classmates are DYING of SAT reviews (and me laughing bwahahaha). and then suddenly i receive mail from the University of California saying they want my SAT scores ASAP. like, WHAAAAAAAAAT?? divine karma? yup. so yeah, im screwed. oh well.

i was gonna go... and then i realized ive studied nothing, its at 6 in the morning (my brain refuses to work before 8) and ill probably get under 1500points. so am i going to do it only to fail? uhh. no.

except application costs like... $650!? for UC?? nuuu~ *thinks*argh. i'm screwed.

but wait! i'm doing the IB! aha... :D so let's see. i'll kill myself studying, go insane, take the exams (while insane--im better that way), sober up somewhere after the exams then die out of nervousness. yup, sounds like a plan. i am so destined to fail. LOL.

i hope not. i want to get into great colleges, so yes i will screw myself over, die and come back from the dead all because of the IB. i'm 16 and im already dying. oh wow, am i pathetic or what? lol!

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so today Anton's ass was saved and mine was fried because he forgot his ID at home. and because Brent is a nice, rich, big, fancy and strict school (iow: awesome), we had to go back home to pick it up. we were already about 5 minutes down the service road when we did a U-turn... and then wham! traffic. yahoo! his bus (which is in Alabang Hills, approximately 20 minutes from my house) leaves promptly at 7:10am. his class starts at 8:10. MINE starts at 8. it was 6:20. ohh crap, right? raiit. so we do a Uturn and speed home, breaking the speed limit in Better Living but not really caring at all. so we get it, leave in about 1 second of getting it, and speed off down the Expressway. Exit Sucat! 6:45. we're on track.

Boom.

Traffic.

ohhh shit.

we exit sucat and are headed off to the Service Road when we see suuuper traffic. like, wtf. it's 6am!! and then it turns out there was a minor car crash right at the entrance of the already super-narrow service road and causes us even more trouble. not a good start. now, we'd take the Expressway all the way through but well, one has to take the service road in order to get to Hillsborough, South Bay Gardens, Intercity Homes and the Ayala-owned villages like Pacific Malaya, Alabang 400, Kalayaan, and Alabang Hills. whopee! screwed.

so yeah, we soon get passed the minor bump that caused traffic for miles and until Alabang (the next city, mind you; about 2km away) that involved an approximately nineteen-year-old boy in his boxers (LOL) and an old geexer, we discover... more traffic! as it turns out there were some idiots trying to cut their way through the traffic. omg you idiots!! there's nothing to cut into!! what are you trying to do??? ugh, three of them. and a line. yes, Philippine driving is terrible. >_> 6:50... still stuck.

then suddenly a miracle happens. it clears up. a teeny bit. so of course we grab the opportunity and race to Alabang Hills. time? 7:10!! OMG!! we break yet another speed law. 7:11... 7:12... we enter Alabang Hills to find the bus is...

GONE.

so of course, what do we do? we go to Brent Mamplasan.
im dead.

now let me explain. Brent Mamplasan is located right before the exit of Santa Rosa, and is about 1 hour away from my house on a good day. on a normal day it takes anywhere between 1-2 hours to get there one way. my house is about 30-45 minutes away from my house, depending on the stupidity of the traffic enforcers stationed in BF homes. its about the same from Brent. it's 7:15. we missed the bus my 3 minutes. ouch.and so we take the trip to Brent, saving my brother's ass and dooming mine. we were travelling right next to the Brent Fleet. lol. i call them so because they were a bunch of Maroon-colored Buses, all with Brent School painted onto the side with their own numbers. we tried (in vain) to look for my brother's bus among the nine that travelled behind us. 100, 101, 103, 104, 114, 116, 119, 108, 107... no 102. how sad. lol. wonder where they ended up o_O

thankfully though, today was a good day and it didnt take us very long. of course i was still pretty much pissed at my brother since i was late and i would tell him to shut up if he pissed me off. thank God for iPods; mine took a lot of my anger away.

it just seriously pissed me off. i mean, it's my brother's fault that he's late; why the hell do i have to pay for it?! he got to Brent at 7:50am, thank you very much. on time and happy. i get to school at 8:20, late and pissed. haha, all because of his ID. seriously, he should have paid for it. i do not see in the logic of taking the fall for my brother's mistake.so yes, piss off.

and of course, im also bitter that i do NOT study in Brent. i seriously wished i did. my school is CRAP.
thank God Mr. Yan was nice enough not to care if i walked into his class fuming and late.

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but other than that, the day went as usual. ugh, we've got some social climbers in school. eeewwww we're deteriorating even more. yuck, you think that by playing your stupid music at level 10 in the middle of the food court makes you cool? eww NO. lemme put some Ali Project or Malice Mizer or ChicoSci and lets see your reaction. yuck. posers feeling cool go to hell! hahaha im so mean.

We confess to the murders of a million souls
another dance in the dark where we are never alone
We confess to the murders of a million souls
another dance in the dark and we are home!
- Manila Teenage Death Squad, Chicosci

yeah, id like to see that. XD

i hate my school.

Hikaru is still so cute though. i love that boy; he amuses me to no end. i wonder if he's still in ILC. its been three years, hikaru; hope you get out of there soon. XD

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"its so funny how we're such a small class and everyone expects us to bond and stuff, but no one knows just how much hatred goes on among us."
-Victor Tence

so true, cousin, so true.haha! tis soooo funny!

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so i got kuya Fart to watch the Vanilla Live by Gackt. 4minutes of Yaoi fanservice: GactXMasa.
LOL, i love.

pretty much that's it.

much love,

Kanae

ラベル: ramblings.

Kanae wrote alone 木曜日, 1月 25, 2007

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火曜日, 1月 16, 2007

ive been checking into schools in the UK. I really wanna go there!!!!!!
im getting so freaking depressed... i really want to go to SOAS, but its painfully expensive. i really do wish to go... please pray for me.
so many plans... will they all go to waste?

Kanae

Kanae wrote alone 火曜日, 1月 16, 2007

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